5.05.2009

Mommy Issues and The Great Write Way

Oh my goodness, you guys! I'm so sorry I've been such a bad blogger lately, but I'm finishing up my huge ass research project for my last grad class before I graduate in less than two weeks (woo! hoo!). Seriously...it's up to 63 pages so far, and it's not completely done yet. I still have to go through, edit it, and possibly add a little more depending on what feedback my professor gives me. Geesh. Anyway, my class ends this week, so my old friend, time, and I are looking forward to meeting again next week.

That being said, I'm feeling so uninspired by the wedding planning lately. I mean, I still read all my blogs, and find pretty ideas, and all that jazz, but I'm so...uninspired. I think maybe I overloaded too fast. My brain can't handle it all. It also doesn't help that many of my friends and family don't seem to give much of a shit. That's not completely true, but it's mostly true. I think it just seems exhausting planning all of this crap for people who don't even care. Two of my siblings eloped, and I'm starting to understand why more and more each day. I know I'll get back into it, but lately, it just proves frustrating.

I think, though, it comes down to this: I have a shitty family. I do. I always have, but it's become more and more apparent with my upcoming graduation, who barely anyone is coming to. Here's the deal: I graduate from graduate school on the 15th. I'm the only one in my family to have gone to graduate school, so you'd think it'd be a little bit of a big deal, right? Um, not so much apparently. I sent out invitations to various family members and a couple of friends, and so far the list of people who are coming is slim. It bums me out, because this has totally happened before with previous graduations or accomplishments in life.

So my mom is on a month long cruise, and "didn't know if she'd be back in time." Awesome. Btw, she technically could be back in time for my graduation, but she's playing this game with me where she's not telling me one way or another. She does this all the time. If she were a man, I'd have broken up with her by now! Then when I complained about this to my brother, he said, "Well it's a once in a lifetime opportunity for her to travel like that." To which (and this is why I love him sooooo much) A.P. replied, "Well it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to see her daughter graduate from grad school." My family's priorities are all screwed up. So you can see why I'm a bit bummed out. My graduation will be happy, I know it will, because I'll pick myself up by the boot straps, and be proud and happy, BUT it's also bittersweet. Life is filled with enough moments where people let you down. Those people shouldn't always be your family members.

3 comments:

  1. seriously we are blog twins. i was just going thru this whole thing about how NO ONE from my family is coming to the wedding. most didn't even rsvp at all. who cares my friends will make the day. but it's a bad feeling that you know you should get over but takes a little effort.

    ANd a couple months ago i was "boo hoo most women have their mom help with wedding planning, my mom sounds like she's reading a book when we are on the phone and i tell her wedding details." you know those long pauses where you say hey are you still there? again, i should count blessings she isn't overbearing but it's hard when your mom is kind of detached.

    sorry that was all about me. but so what i mean is hang in there babe, you sound cool and well adjusted and you guy sounds great!

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  2. I know it has to suck to have it seem like people don't care about the big events in your life, but trust me, the other way around isn't a walk in the park either. I had to forbid my mother from helping with my wedding after what she did to my sister. Mom decided that she did not like the venues that my sister had picked for her ceremony and reception so she canceled them and then booked the wedding someplace else that was twice as expensive and my sister had to pay for it.
    But I feel you on hitting the planning wall, I ran into the same thing after I booked all my vendors a year in advance and then had nothing to do for like 4 months.
    Hang in there, you'll get through it!

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  3. Wow. To both of those comments. First of all, Mimi: I agree. We are blog twins. That is totally how my mom would be if I bothered to even tell her anything anymore. Vipperj: I am glad I don't have the opposite, but I kind of do...my sister. Just wait, she'll get her own post some time. She wouldn't cancel the reception reservation, but she would voice her opinion nonstop and totally insult my choice. She thinks she's my mom.

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